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Porn-proofing your Kids – the ESSENTIAL Conversation


From an email this morning, (shared here with permission):

“I absolutely loved the meeting last night. Father is spot on and did a good job being direct and to the point.  Everyone needs to hear his message, even those without children.  Is it possible to put the video on the St. Peter’s website after tonight’s replay?  I think so many good Catholic families could benefit from this. Even our CCD families.

Thank you for “forcing” us to attend.  I will be honest, I had no desire to go.  I thought “really, another meeting?”  I am so thankful I went.  Powerful stuff.

God bless!

LeAnn Hofeling”

I don’t like calling meetings any more than you like going to them.  Yet, some things you just have to do.  We requested “required attendance” by a parent of each family with a child in 6th-8th grades.  The bleachers were full.  God be praised.  We will pick up a good number more tonight with the second meeting where we will view a recording of the meeting.

A couple things Father Kilcawley said struck me in a new way:

  • First, a child’s first exposure to pornography is basically never their fault. Kids feel like it is among the most grievous thing they have ever done, but more than likely they have stumbled upon it or been led there by one who will deeply need God’s mercy.  (Do you know what a mill stone is?)  The conversation about that first experience of your child with porn is essential.
  • The kitchen lockbox – The likelihood of a child with a bit of insomnia coming back after the phone later at night is rather high, probably not often but occasionally. The box on the kitchen counter with a timer that unlocks automatically makes so much sense.  Kids are not waiting for someone to remember to unlock the box either.  All can be confident, when the time elapses, the box opens. I will get my device back in the morning, kids can be assured.
  • One parent told me, “Going into the meeting I thought, ‘I use computers all the time every day. Do we really need this software?’  Coming out I thought, ‘YES.’”
  • Another said, “I used to get all my girls’ texts on my phone. After school my phone would blow up each day.  I couldn’t wade through all that, so now I have software that monitors.  I still check occasionally, but the software sure helps.”

In a few days we will have a link to the meeting available also.  While Father’s explanation was much more than the resources given, several people have asked for information on those items.  Resources referenced last night:

  1. Diocesan Website tools for parents (how to talk to them about porn, how to install filters, etc.):  http://www.lincolndiocese.org/internet-protection-pornography/tools-for-parents
  • Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids by Kristen Jensen (Fr. recommended to introduce around 2nd grade)
  • Wonderfully Made! Babies by Ellen Giangiordano (Fr. recommended to introduce around 4th grade)
  • Plunging Pornography: A Catholic Bathroom Book by D.J. Hueneman  (for teens)
  • Every Parent’s Battle: A Family Guide to Resisting Pornography by Dan Spencer III

Thank you, parents.  They are your kids, yours is the primary responsibility for forming their souls.  I am glad to work with you, as are our teachers.  Working TOGETHER is ESSENTIAL.  We will continue to work at improving our school, as you work so hard to build sound homes.  Sometimes, when I see and hear things that impact our culture so profoundly, I must call a time out for a huddle so we can collaborate and continue on in the game with greater unity.  God be praised.  May the little beneficiaries of our work continue to grow in wisdom, age and grace, and may we do so too in the process.

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